I shave your elf bald.

My clippers.

This is the website for the business plan for my elf business. The business is called I shave your elf bald.

Executive summary

Helping your elf pick which hair to have is hard. This will be the easiest decision you have made in your life.

Company description

I shave your elf bald.

Definitions

I
Me, rex.
shave
With clippers.
your
Possessive form of "you," my customer.
elf
Humanoid with pointy ears and immortality angst potential. "Is [x] an elf?" Yeah. I don't argue semantics.
bald.
Absent of hair. A number zero. No options. No hairs left unshaven. Bald or bust.

Service line

Services include:

Some people have a elf who wants to be bald. Some people who have a elf want that elf to be bald. I help with this.

Service lifecycle

  1. Your elf has hair.
  2. I shave your elf bald.
  3. Your elf's hair grows.
  4. Your elf is no longer bald.
  5. I shave your elf bald again.

Pricing structure

I don't know how much people will pay for this but I don't think that matters.

Market analysis

This business caters to people with elfs who want to be bald or people who want their elfs to be bald. As this type of desire is not often voiced, that could be a lot of people.

Competitive analysis

I often get the question, "Why would I come to you to shave my elf bald when I have clippers and could do it myself?"

If you were going to make a bald elf yourself with your own elf and your own clippers, you would do it. You are coming to me and my clippers with your elf because you and your elf want me to do it.

Company advantages

This is a unique product offering. Most haircut businesses have a wide menu of styles available. My business will offer one style: bald. It also caters to unique clientele (your elf).

Shaving someone's elf bald is an intimate experience not without a degree of danger. I have the clippers and your elf. This adds an element to the experience of making your elf bald.

People will enjoy my extrasalon, no-frills approach to hair. No questions. No complications. Just me and my clippers and your elf who will be bald.

Organization

I shave your elf bald is a limited liability company.

Marketing and sales

Word of mouth is all I will need to be successful. I am dedicated to my craft of shaving elfs bald with exquisite attention to detail. Once people see how good I am at shaving your elf bald, they will want this for their elfs too.

Financial projections

There will always be elfs. Elfs can have hair. Some of those elfs with hair will want to be bald. There will always be a need for me.

Clippers cost about USD$35 and I already have some, so there is no startup cost. There may be maintenance expenses if I lose a guard or forget to oil my clippers for a long long time, but I won't.

My five-year outlook is good and my thirty-five-year outlook is better. I am healthy and mentally well and take care of my clippers. The market for bald elfs is stable and, in fact, probably growing, so there is nothing to worry about.

Conclusion

Let me do it.